True Masculinity

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Can you embody true masculinity?

But what about the men? What is their motivation to not have sex before marriage? To be honest, I was having a hard time. I was having a hard time thinking about why men should abstain from sex. I already went into why women having pre-martial sex not only does a disservice to themselves, but to men too, but more so indirectly. The culture it creates does not serve to inspire, motivate and fulfill the true needs of men. Because, let’s be mature, it’s not just about the physical. But what is the man’s role in all this? What real-world and motivating reason do men have to abstain? I honestly had no idea, but God put it on my heart, He gave me an answer. And it is a hard truth.

Men, this is why you should not be having premarital sex. Not because of the STDs or the unwanted pregnancies or the settling for relationships that are going nowhere because both of you know you're not really in love, but yeah you're not going to walk away from the relationship because so it's hard to walk away when these things are given away for free. You don’t really value it, you don't really respect it. Even if you really want to value and respect the relationship, you don’t. Men, those are some of the reasons why you should abstain, but you and I both know that is not enough.

Men, the real reason why you should abstain is going to be much, much harder to accept. It going to be harder for a man to not have sex before marriage, it’s going to be harder to do the right thing, because for you, as a man, you are called to be something more. More is expected from you. And I know some women might not like this, but this is from God, not me. Because like I said—I was at a loss with this one until God said, I have asked more from men. Men are called to have more responsibility. Men are called to set an example. Men are called to set a standard for society. Men, you are called to be biblical masculinity incarnate. True masculinity, the Bible equals truth, and true masculinity is being selfless.

True masculinity is putting others before yourself. True masculinity never diminishes anything that is feminine and actuality, in contrast to the masculine, femininity is even more beautiful, valued and multifaceted. True masculinity never takes advantage of the vulnerable, it is fully selfless, true masculinity takes care of others, true masculinity it is willing to make the sacrifice. It is willing to get up in the middle of the night with a gun or a bat because someone's downstairs and say, I got this. True masculinity is the one that puts the women and the children in the boat and says, Get off the Titanic, it's the one that says I'm putting on those combat boots and I'm fighting for your freedom. True masculinity are the ones that go to work every day to a job that they don't like, they go to a job every day that they might not like to provide for their families, to provide stability for their families. True masculinity knows that everyone is having a great time at home while they're the ones taking on extra hours or opportunities, striving to set a better standard for their families.

That is what true masculinity should be, because the core facet of masculinity is selflessness. Putting others before yourself. If you want to be first you have to be last. And if you are not first, that is why you are not feeling fulfilled, because you are not living out what you were destined for: your were destined to be first, you were destined to be a leader, to be the head. If you're the head of the family, you are meant to be the leader, the example the rest of the family follows and if you are a leader, if you're the head of the family, it is your job to set the tone. You are like the CEO, you set the structure, it is your responsibility to create an environment in which your family thrives and is happy and joyful and is successful. It is your job and it is a lot of responsibility.

It will be harder for you than everyone else, you will have to be the one to make the biggest sacrifices, that is your role as the leader. When I was growing up my dad worked in construction. He owned a business and there was a time when he worked out in the field and eventually he bid jobs in his office, but when he worked in the field and he came home every day dirty, sweaty, and tired, working six days a week and there would be my sister and me and my mom hanging out the pool tan and happy, “Hey, Daddy!”

Some men are thinking all this sound unfair. why can't we all hang out in the pool? Because someone has to do it. Men are meant to selflessly lead. That is what being a man is. With great power comes great responsibility. You have great power and potential, but life choices will be harder for you, you will have to make more sacrifices. Men are stronger, you are faster, others look up to you and respect you automatically. Women can attest to this. Many woman complain that in the workplace, the male boss automatically gets respect, but not the female boss. This is hardwired. Men and woman respect a male presence. Men value the compliments of another man far more than they do the compliments women give them. Women, don’t believe me? Ask a guy in your life. He will tell you. Men are also hardwired to automatically value the approval of other men. They respect men and want men to respect them. This goes for men teaching their sons to respect women and others. Women—you may be single and trying to teach your sons how to respect women and it’s hard, right? Young men need a male role model to teach them by showing them how to respect others.

I'm talking about family right now and some men are thinking, I don't have a family so how does that pertain to me?

Are you a man? Then this pertains to you.

Just because you don’t have a family in which to embody a man's role, you're still a man and this is still your role, to be a leader and being a leader, having true masculinity, is being selfless. Be selfless with everyone that you come in contact with whether it's the little grandma behind you in line and you say, Go ahead ma'am, whether it's being a selfless and generous friend, at work being humble and gracious to those in authority over you and those below you. Helping other when you don’t have to or when no one is watching, taking your time to mentor someone for no gain of your own, listening to someone’s complaint though you have other things to do, giving back to the community.

The core facet of a man is selflessness. As a society, we honor, value and respect someone who is selfless and willing to self sacrifice. Look at the headlines. If a person does an act of selflessness and sacrifice they are always labeled a hero. So what does this have to do with abstaining from sex?

Men, you should abstain from sex because as someone selfless you should be willing to give up your desires to meet the needs and do what is in the best interest of a woman, even if she isn't your future wife or even someone you care about. She is a woman. She is a person. Can you put aside what you want, the physical and ego payout? Can you put that aside and be selfless and actually put her, put another human, being above yourself and say, No?

Can you make a choice to ensure you don’t put her in a situation where she could get pregnant or get an STD? Can you help her avoid the hurt she may feel when you don't reciprocate her feelings or refuse commitment, even if at first she claimed sh did not want any commitment?

Now, again notice all of these things don't have anything to do with you? You're not going to be devastated by this casual fling not amounting to anything, you are going to have fun for the evening and it won't really have any negative impact on you, but it's not about you. But that's the point. True masculinity takes action not based on the benefits to himself, but based on how it benefits others. Therefore your choice to abstain, your non-action, is not about you, it is about her.

Can you do that? Can you be a true man and be selfless to an almost perfect stranger? Or what about to a girl you do know and you've been having a careless kind of relationship with, can you respect her enough and be selfless and say no? No, I'm not going to put you in that position. I'll tell you one thing that would make her like you even more! Guess what, she would love you for it! I don't recommend you guys doing that as a ploy, but she would love you for it, she would respect you so much more, and you know why? It is because there is something innate in her that will recognize and respond to you as a man. That's why she would be even more attracted to you because there is that innate part of her that says, Oh my gosh what a man. What a man. She might not even be aware of why she now finds you even more attractive in that moment, but it's because you're being a real true man the way God intended men to behave. It is literally irresistible. A real man is irresistible.

So men you want to take back your masculinity? Do you feel emasculated and unappreciated? Do you think culture doesn’t appreciate you, then the change starts with you. Stop sleeping around with woman—start saying no. Stop being a little boy and be a man—a man that says, No. I expect more from you and I expect more for myself. I want more for you and I want more for myself. Real change doesn’t start with you forcing it upon others, it starts within yourself. Real change needs to start with you.

Every post is 100% based on Scripture. Please read for reference

John 15:13 /1 Corinthians 11:3/ Ephesians 5:21-3/ Titus 1:5-9/ Genesis 3:16/ 1 Timothy 3: 2, 12/

1 Timothy 5:8/ 1 Peter 5:2, 3-5/ Numbers: 12:4-10/ Ephesians 5:25/ Genesis 1:26-27/Philippians 2:3-8

2 Corinthians 8:9/ Galatians 5:13/ Romans 15:1-3

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